"I'm Not A Sadist"

We as a society need to think very carefully about who might be attracted to the very real and very serious kinds of power that can and do ruin lives. Occasionally you get a fleeting glimpse into someone else's lived Hell, but have no power to change it.

This is not the first time I've become aware of a story like this, but this one is mine.

When you’re taking ride-share to and from work every day, you get to meet all kinds of interesting people. There was only one that really stood out in my mind though.

As soon as I got in the car I knew there was something deeply wrong and creepy about this man. This wasn't an after-the-fact observation: I instantly knew something wasn't right. He spoke slowly and with a low pitch, and an almost artificial, calculated level of calm. Nonetheless we had some interesting conversations about martial arts — he studied koryu. His wife worked in prison psychiatry or something.

I got out of the car feeling disturbed. Like I’d just met a serial killer for the first time or something. Something was wrong with this person. But it was none of my business. He hadn’t done or said anything specific that was wrong to me, so I gave him his 5 stars and moved on.

...

Of course I got him again a few days later.

There are many topics of conversation that are appropriate for someone you have met for the second time. How work is going, how training is going. Whatever.

I’m not entirely sure how you thrash your children for extremely minor misbehaviour is an appropriate thing to spontaneously start talking about in that situation.

After he explained that he recently spent half an hour physically disciplining his kids ("for those 30 minutes, I'm their worst nightmare") for taking a cookie from the kitchen without asking (Because Stealing is Wrong), I think he picked up on my shocked expression, and delivered this line:

“I’m not a sadist, though. I don’t humiliate them.”

Yeah. That’s… an interesting thing to say unprompted.

It is probably worth reflecting on the implications of an environment where children are beaten if they don't get permission before eating.

...

As everyone knows, these things come in threes. I got him a third time.

It turns out that just before the third trip, he had been informed that he had gotten a new job, and would be quitting the ride-share when he started it. Two weeks, then he starts his new career... as a uniformed officer for Victoria Police.

Checkin

Version: 2

Originally written: Feb 2019

Written on: 6.25mg olanzapine

Mental health was excellent

Revised: 2025-10-16

Revised on: 10mg olanzapine since 2025-07-20, 7.5mg before that - likely causing severe cognitive impairment

Mental health was: poor - estimate 20% brain